By J.R. Miller
The power of one life over another life, is something almost startling. There have been single looks of an eye, which have changed a destiny. There have been meetings of only a moment, which have left impressions for life, for eternity. No one of us can understand that mysterious thing we call influence. We read of our blessed Lord that virtue went out of him and healed the timid woman who came behind him in the crowd and touched the hem of his garment. Again, when the throng surged about him and sought to touch him, that virtue went out of him and healed them all. Of course there never was another such life as Christ's; yet out of everyone of us continually virtue goes--either to heal, to bless, to leave marks of beauty; or to wound, to hurt, to poison, to stain other lives.
We are forever either adding to the world's health, happiness, and good--or to its pain, sorrow, or curse. Every moment's true living, every victory we win over self or sin, every fragment of holy life we live--makes it easier for others to be brave and true and sweet. We are always giving out of influence.
Thus it is, that companionship always leaves it impress. Eye cannot even look into eye, in one deep, earnest gaze--but a touch has been left on the soul. An artist of distinguished rank would not permit himself to look at any but good pictures. He said the mere seeing of inferior pictures hurt the tone of his own conceptions. If this were true, how we should guard our hearts and minds against the receiving of any impression which is not refining and elevating. The reading of a book which is unworthy, the indulgence in thoughts or imaginations which are unwholesome, the admitting into the life even for a little time of a companionship, which is not what it should be, cannot but lower the tone of the life.
A man well past middle life said, that in sensitive youth, another young man drew him aside and furtively showed him a vile picture. He looked at it just for one moment and then turned away. But a spot had been burned upon his soul. The memory of that glance he had never been able to wash out. It had come back to him along all the forty years he had lived since, even breaking in upon him in his most sacred moments, and staining his most hallowed thoughts.
We do not know what we are taking into our life when we admit into companionship, even for one hour, one who is not godly, nor pure, nor true. Then, who can estimate the debasing influence of such companionship when continued until it becomes intimacy, friendship; when confidences are exchanged, when soul touches soul, when life flows into and blends with life?
When one awakes to the consciousness of the fact, that he has formed or is forming a companionship with another whose influence cannot but hurt him and may perhaps destroy him--there is only one true thing to do--it must instantly be given up. A rabbit's foot was caught in the hunter's steel trap. The little creature seemed to know that unless it could get free, its life must soon be lost. O with a bravery, which we cannot but admire, it gnawed off its leg with its own teeth, thus setting itself free, though leaving its foot in the trap. But who will say that it was not wiser thus to escape death, even with the loss of its foot--than it would have been to keep the foot and die?
If anyone discovers that they are in the snare of evil companionship or friendship, whatever it costs them, they should tear themselves away from it! Better enter into pure, noble, and worthy life, with one hand or one foot, or with both hands and feet cut away--than to save these members and be dragged down to eternal death! Young people should beware of the beginnings of evil companionship. It is like the machinery in the mill, which, when it once seizes the outmost fringe of one's garments, quickly winds in the whole garment and whirls the person's body to swift and terrible death.
But a godly and true character has also its influence. There have been mere chance meetings just for the moment, as when ships meet at sea, and pass each on its course, never to meet again, which yet have left blessings whose influence shall never perish. So it is with the influence of godly lives. Words, thoughts, songs, kindly deeds, the power of example, the inspiration of noble things, drop out of the heaven of pure friendship into the depths of the heart; and, falling, are folded there and become beautiful gems and holy adornments in the life.
If even brief moments of worthy companionship leave their mark of blessing--then, who can tell the power of a close and long-continued friendship, running through many happy years, sharing the deepest experiences, heart and heart knit together, life woven as it were into one web? There is a little poem by a gentle writer, which asks, "What is the best a friend can be? And answers it. A friend is not only shelter, comfort, rest, refreshment, a guide--but also an atmosphere warm with all kindly inspirations of pure life, which has no taint of sin. This is not sentimental exaggeration. Life indeed flows into life in true sympathetic union, and the two, blend as the fragrance of the flowers blends with the air into which it is diffused. And ever after, each life carries something of the other in its very fibre and tissue, something ineradicable. No one of us is ever altogether the same again--when we have had a friend or even an intimate companion for a time.
Our friends are also our ideals. In every godly friend's life, we see a little fragment of the beauty of the Lord, which becomes part of the glory into which we should fashion our lives.
When we truly love a friend, we unconsciously reach toward what he is, and grow into or toward his likeness. Thus as a father and mother are models to their child who copies their life, their speech, their faults as well as their virtues. The same is true in all friendships and close companionships. If these were not godly, the influence can be only hurtful and evil.
There is a wonderful restraining and constraining power over us--in the life of one we love. We dare not do wrong in the sacred presence of a pure, gentle friend. Everyone knows how unworthy they feel when they come, with the consciousness and recollection of some sin or some baseness, into the companionship of one they honor as a friend. It is a kind of "Jesus-presence" that our friend is to us, in which we dare not do evil things.
One says: "A friend has many functions. They come as the Brightener into our life--to double our joys and halve our griefs. They come as the Counselor--to give a wisdom to our plans. They come as the Strengthener--to multiply our opportunities and be hands and feet for us in our absence. But above all use like this comes as our Rebuker--to explain our failures and shame us from our sins; as our Purifier, our Up-lifter, our Model, whose life to us is a constant challenge in our heart."
Even when they leave us in death--the influence of our friends and companions abides upon us, like an afterglow when day is done. The memory of their purity is a gentle restraint upon us, when we would sin. Many a mother is more to her children when she is in heaven--than she was when with them on the earth. Whether those sainted ones in glory ever see us--we know not--but there is an influence ever in which inspires us to noble things.
Thus, the influence of companionship projects even far beyond the earthly story of those who touch and impress our lives. Indeed, we can never get away from it, and can never be as though we had not experienced it.
If these things are true--and no one can doubt their truth--this matter of companionship is one of vital importance. Especially is it important for young people to give most watchful thought and care in choosing of their associates and friends. Of course, they cannot choose those with whom they shall mingle in a general way--at school, or in work or business. One is compelled oftentimes to sit or stand day after day, beside those who are not godly or worthy.
The law of Christian love requires that in all such cases, the utmost courtesy and kindness shall be shown. But this may be done and the heart not be opened to real companionship. It is companionship that leaves its mark on the life, that is, the entering into relations in which the hearts blend. Jesus himself showed love to all men and women--but he took into companionship only a few chosen ones. We are to be like him, seeking to be a blessing to all--but receiving into personal relations of affection and confidence only those who are worthy, and whose lives will help in the up-building of our own life.
